Crying, a baby's first language

When a baby cries, it is his way of expressing himself. Crying represents his first language to signify a need or even an alert. Often difficult for parents to understand, crying is sometimes worrying, confusing or even frustrating and trying. It can be a real source of anxiety, which encourages us to try to decipher it.

Normal infant crying

Some baby cries are normal and habitual. An infant may simply express classic needs such as hunger, tiredness, the need for sucking or cuddling or even simple discomfort. The duration of crying increases from birth to the 6th week of life to reach up to 3 hours per day. In general, this daily duration gradually decreases thereafter.

In the late afternoon or evening, discharge cries are quite common. This is the time for baby to release all the stress of the day.

Baby can also be sick: pay attention to symptoms such as nasal congestion (blocked nose), or on the contrary a runny nose, fever... Do not hesitate to consult your doctor if necessary.

Excessive infant crying

True excessive infant crying is characterized by the 3x3 rule:

• a daily duration of more than 3 hours per day,
• more than 3 days a week,
• for more than 3 weeks.

8 to 25% of infants are subject to this type of crying during the first trimester of life. There are many medical causes of true excessive crying in infants: infant colic, esophagitis (a complication of gastroesophageal reflux ), sleep problems, intolerance to cow's milk proteins or very rarely lactose intolerance ... The relationship between parents and child, or even family tensions, can also be the cause.

Less common, there is also high-pitched excessive crying related to sudden pain. Appearing suddenly, these cries and screams are particularly intense and strident. The causes of this crying are numerous: constipation, infection, trauma, skin irritation, inguinal hernia, headaches, etc.

Excessive crying requires immediate medical attention in all cases, or even urgently if it is acute and of unknown or potentially serious cause.

What to do when baby cries?

Deciphering normal baby cries can be tricky. Asking the right questions can usually help you identify your baby's most common needs.

Basic reflexes and gestures to calm baby

To respond to your baby's normal crying, try to identify his needs . When the crying becomes more and more intense and remains rhythmic, he may be hungry or thirsty. On the contrary, after a meal, crying may mean that he no longer wants to eat but only to satisfy his need to suck. You can satisfy this need to suck by using a pacifier, thumb or breast, and even at other times during the day if no other cause of crying can be identified. 

Baby may be tired and want to lie down or take a nap: he then cries in your arms while you try to cuddle him. Read our article Knowing how to put baby to bed for better sleep . He may also simply let you know that he is uncomfortable when his diaper is soiled.

There are some simple actions that can help soothe your baby when he cries. Hugs accompanied by words spoken in a soft voice are a well-known technique. Your baby is already sensitive to your intonations! You can sing him a lullaby, or play soft music. Rock your baby in your arms, or give him a ride in a stroller or car, or even a bath. Using a baby carrier also encourages close contact.

During the first months of life, the infant needs to be cuddled. This is when he identifies his attachment figures, that is, the people who take care of him.

The safety of an inconsolable baby

It is very important that the parent who is mainly exposed to the excessive and inconsolable crying of his child can rely on his spouse or a third person (grandparents, friends, etc.) regularly. These breaks will offer him the decompression necessary to continue raising his child more serenely.

If you are alone with your inconsolable child and you cannot pass the baton, lay the baby on his back in his bed safely, and leave the room. Go get a glass of water, breathe calmly and deeply, then call a loved one. In any case, never shake your child despite his anger: the head trauma could be irreversible.

What if it was possible to decipher baby cries?

Some authors have already tried to decipher baby cries: this is what the Dunstan method tried to demonstrate. Musician and singer, the author Priscilla Dunstan is said to have identified about ten different cries in babies thanks to her perfect pitch. Her clinical study would universally demonstrate that each sound of crying corresponds to a need of the infant (fatigue, hunger, discomfort, etc.).

More for fun, and taking up the principle of this method, derivative products such as smartphone applications allow you to record the child's cries. According to the designers, the device would identify his needs for you.

More pragmatically, it is by listening to your child, observing their facial expressions or postures, and identifying their habits that you will become the best decoder!